Common Questions
Frequently Asked Questions
We’re your one stop shop for ALL funeral services— embalming, cold storage, caskets, vaults, logistics, cremation, and more.
Ikoyi (main hub), Atan, Igbosere, and Abuja office.
Yes — private visitations are available at our Ikoyi viewing room.
Yes — our crematorium is on-site, discreet, and fully managed.
Yes — local and international. All permits and processes handled.
Valid ID (next of kin), death certificate, and any burial permit.
Yes — Ebony offers pre-plan options for individuals and families.
Depending on exactly where the death occurs, local requirements and protocols can differ greatly. We’ve broken down the order of operations for how to logistically handle a death abroad.
Contact The Consulate Or Embassy In The Place The Person Died
Most countries have a department that assists the next-of-kin to convey instructions to the appropriate offices within the foreign country, and provides information to the family on how to transmit the necessary private funds to cover the costs overseas. Upon issuance of a local death certificate, the nearest embassy or consulate may prepare a Consular Report of the Death of a citizen abroad.
Decide If You Need To Travel To The Country
Depending on the laws of the place the person died, there may be rules around who can claim the body, make decisions About transporting the body, and sign the necessary paperwork to effect repatriation. These are some of the information your local consulate or embassy should help you with.
Find A Funeral Home
The foreign consulate or embassy will help you coordinate on the foreign side of things, but you’ll need a funeral home that you can work with and it’s a good idea to work with Ebony funeral home because we have a huge experience in dealing with different countries in case of repatriation since we already understand the processes involved.
Gather The Person’s Belongings
Whether you go to the country or not, you’ll probably want to make arrangements to have the person’s personal belongings collected and brought back to their home country. This may include everything from the person’s passport and any relevant visas (which may be legally necessary in order to transport the body) to the person’s clothes, accessories, and other items that he or she was traveling with.
In most instances, the next of kin – spouse, child, parent, legal partner or sibling – will be responsible for arranging a funeral.
In an instance of dispute, where it is known a Will exists, the arbiter of arrangements is deemed to be the nominated Executor. The Executor may in his/her discretion appoint a person to make necessary arrangements with Ebony Funeral Home and we will take it up from there.
In some cases, authorities in institutions where a person may not have any known relatives may need to make necessary arrangements. This is usually done by the Social Worker or another authorised officer.
Yes you do. All appropriate preparation for funeral purposes must be undertaken by a regulated company, that is, a funeral director that has the experience and follows procedures that complies with appropriate health regulations.
In truth, it does matter to the family and friends who are left behind. Unless they know exactly what your wishes are for your final end of life arrangements, there will be uncertainty which can lead to arguments, disagreements and additional stress at a really difficult time for them. Even if you don’t have strong opinions on what your funeral service should or should not include, making those choices and arrangements now will spare your family additional grief. And that will matter to them very much.
A growing number of people call themselves non-religious and do not participate within a faith community, many also follow a strong ‘spiritual’ path but are not necessarily ‘religious’ – for both of these groups, when someone they love dies, they are often unclear About how to design a tribute that is fitting.
Friends and family often want to participate in the creation and presentation of a funeral service, but may be uncomfortable or unable to speak publicly About death or the loss of a loved one. This is when a Funeral Home can step in and support the family and present a spiritual and/or non-religious gathering.
A Funeral Director is trained and certified to provide a funeral, memorial or celebration of life service that is highly personalized to reflect the personality, lifestyle and beliefs of the person who died. We encourage participation by family and friends in helping to create a meaningful ceremony.
Benefits Of Planning
Funeral plans will be a consideration for us all at some point in time. And, although planning one’s own funeral in advance may be uncomfortable, it offers advantages.
It doesn’t take a fatalistic person to recognize the value in planning their funeral in advance. In fact, millions of people choose to pre-arrange their funeral every year. After all, funeral arrangements will be a consideration for us all at some point in time and there are advantages to making them in advance.
Survivors may not know your wishes — or may assume they do know your wishes. For example, they may not know if you prefer cremation; how much you’d want them to spend on arrangements; or whom you would want them to invite to the service. Planning ahead puts you in control by allowing you to make informed choices regarding your funeral and cemetery arrangements.
Not only does it simplify the funeral process for your survivors, it also eases the stress of deciding what you would have wanted.
Since it is difficult to predict what your family’s financial situation will be at the time of your death, pre-funding ensures that an amount you consider appropriate will be earmarked for the funeral.
You’ll be comforted by the assurance that your family and friends will be relieved of the burden of making funeral arrangements when you die. And you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that they will appreciate your concern for their well-being.
Cemetery Etiquette
Park in designated areas —NOT on the grass. There could be an unmarked grave there.
Cemeteries are not recreation parks; its for serious and solemn business. Always keep to scheduled time (and don’t keep the dead waiting). Do NOT go to a cemetery at night without permission from the cemetery association! If you are in that cemetery at night without permission you are trespassing and could get you arrested and possibly have to pay a big fine! It’s not worth it.
Have respect for the dead. A cemetery is not a playground for ghost hunters and taphophiles. It is a memorial to honor those who have gone before us. Treat it as such (besides, if it is haunted, and you are disrespectful, a ghost might trip you and twist your ankle!).
Don’t touch the sculptures on the graves. Don’t lean on a monument or sit on one or pose for pictures draped over a tombstone. Some of those are delicate and they have been exposed to the elements — you could damage them. And, yes that bench looks inviting, but it is for the mourners. Don’t sit on it. If you do accidentally damage anything, report it to the cemetery association and be ready to pay for repairs! It’s the right thing to do.
A cemetery is not a place for shouting and loud music. It’s also not a place for you to make all your cemetery jokes! We are not telling you that you have to be “grave,” but it isn’t really appropriate to get silly at the cemetery.
Remember not to leave any trash when you leave, and not to disturb what might be at the memorial. If there are flowers, coins, photos, etc. be careful if you move them and put them back leaving everything as you found it. These are memorials, places where people come to remember a lost family member. Keep them as such.
NEVER take anything from a cemetery … except any trash that you might generate (including cigarette butts). Don’t take coins or toys or flowers or dirt or guitar picks or any other offerings that were left for the dead. It’s bad juju.
Of course, our affinity is not only to the dead; we are also benevolent so you can take photographs, and leave only footprints
Funeral Etiquette
The very first thing that one must do when a death occurs is to acknowledge it. If you learn of the death of someone whom you knew or if you discover that a relative or close friend of a co-worker or friend has died, you first sit down at your desk, take out paper and an envelope and write a letter of condolence. This is important especially if you are not planning to attend a funeral service or if there is no funeral service. Even if you attend a service, a letter is a nice, but not obligatory, thing to do.
You DO NOT send an email or post a “thinking of your family and you” entry on a funeral home’s website or Facebook. Death requires more from you. A handwritten letter is where one begins. It need not be long or witty, but a sincere message with a personal touch is best.
If you did not know the person that well you can simply say something along the lines of, “I was deeply sorry to learn of the death of your aunt. Please accept my heartfelt sympathy. Your family and you are in my thoughts and prayers.” Just make sure to be genuine. If you are not religious, drop the prayers.
We all have many suits in our closet. Well, maybe not. However, we should have one dark suit or dress on hand for occasions such as a funeral.
- For men, A black suit is your number one choice but a navy suit or a charcoal gray suit, and if you don’t have anything else, even a midnight-blue pin stripe are all acceptable. Your shoes should be black whether they be wing tips or captoes. Solid black ties are quite appropriate for someone who has lost an immediate family member.
- For women, just like the men, a conservative suit is appropriate, with a hat or fashion scarf for your head. Other wise a modest, dark gown (and covering your shoulders) reaching a bit below the knee is acceptable. If you must make up, never use loud colors and be economical with your face. You don’t want to be the focus when your tears leave scary marks on your face.
You never show up to a funeral home or Church service wearing jeans, a golf shirt, a baseball cap, or sneakers. Likewise, women should avoid sequins, bright colors, and big jewelry. Even if the men sitting next to you are thusly attired, you know that you know better and are more respectful than they are.
- For men, A black suit is your number one choice but a navy suit or a charcoal gray suit, and if you don’t have anything else, even a midnight-blue pin stripe are all acceptable. Your shoes should be black whether they be wing tips or captoes. Solid black ties are quite appropriate for someone who has lost an immediate family member.
- For women, just like the men, a conservative suit is appropriate, with a hat or fashion scarf for your head. Other wise a modest, dark gown (and covering your shoulders) reaching a bit below the knee is acceptable. If you must make up, never use loud colors and be economical with your face. You don’t want to be the focus when your tears leave scary marks on your face.
At many funerals today, a close family member or friend is asked to deliver a eulogy. A eulogy is a heart-felt tribute to the one we are there to remember. It is not an opportunity to get one last word in About the deceased. It is not a comedy act. It also is not all About the speaker. It is About the way the person who died and the way she or he impacted upon people’s lives.If you are delivering a eulogy, this is your chance to speak About someone in a very dignified manner.
If you are asked to deliver a eulogy, this is your chance to speak About someone in a very dignified manner. Make sure to sit down and take your time when you write it. Find the right balance between grief, cherished memories, and funny occasions. The length should be (but not more than) two letter or A4 pages in standard font size 12 to 14 depending on the font you choose, but Arial, OpenSans or Times New Roman are best.
Avoid any remarks About drinking or dating habits of the deceased and do not bring up anything else that could be perceived as embarrassing or disrespectful.
You may want to acknowledge the death of someone in a more tangible manner than just a letter. In years gone by one sent flowers to the funeral home or a mourner’s house. The purpose of the flowers was quite practical. It offsets the odor of death and the not-too-perfected embalming process. However, these days many people regard an overabundance of flowers as an excessive waste of money. Instead in the death notice or at the funeral home the names of one or two favorite charities of the deceased are noted in case one would prefer to make a memorial donation rather than send a spray of flowers. The choice is up to you if you want to make a charitable donation or not and it is up to you ultimately to which charity you would like to donate. The charity will inform the deceased family of the donation, or the funeral home will prepare a list of donors names and addresses. The amount of the gift is never mentioned.
Talking to Children and Teens
Your child needs your help to understand death. So it’s best to explain what has happened as simply and truthfully as you can. For example, ‘I have some sad news. Your Aunty Sal died this morning’.
Using the word ‘death’ can avoid problems too. If you say that someone ‘passed away’ or has ‘gone to sleep’, your child might be confused or frightened. For example, a child who is told that ‘Grandpa has gone to sleep forever’ might get scared of sleeping because he’s afraid he’ll never wake up.
If you feel very uncomfortable talking About death, you might need to practise with another adult first. You could go through what you’ll say and how you’ll answer your child’s questions. Or you might like to write down a few notes as reminders.
It can also be helpful to think About what you’ll say if you don’t know the answer to your child’s question. It’s OK to say something like, ‘I don’t know but I’ll try to find out’.
Grieving is a process that can take weeks, months, and years. Sometimes as a child matures, they will reprocess the death based on their new understanding and life experiences. Share your feelings and grief work with your child. A child will take comfort in knowing they are not alone in how they feel and they will look to the adults for role models in how to deal with grief.
Children need and want to talk About their loved one and their loss. Be patient and a good listener. Reassure the child they are loved and there is a plan for their care. This is especially important if the loved one who died is a parent.